Big Sausage Mishap
“You gotta check out Lisbon”. “Portugal is AMAZING you’ll love it”. “If you go to Portugal let me know because I want to go back.”
These are just a few of the glowing remarks I’d heard about Portugal from friends and acquaintances, so when I had an opportunity to see it for myself I couldn’t pass it up.
Along with the endorsements from folks I know fairly well, Portugal seems to be one of the ‘hot’ locations talked about in loads of travel related content. It’s become a top spot for Americans to move due to its lovely weather, accessibility, healthcare system, and, comparatively, simple pathways to citizenship through its Golden Visa program.
I was fortunate enough to find some cheap flights during my time in London and decided to check it out for 48 hours. If you’re planning a trip to Lisbon, this will hopefully give you some insights and some ideas for things to do.
Typically when I travel, I like to book lodging at a place in the city center so that I can walk most everywhere. My trip to Lisbon was no exception. I stayed in an Airbnb close to the city center that was accessible from the airport via the metro system and a 10-15 minute walk. Below is a screenshot of where I stayed and I’ve linked to my specific Airbnb here. It’s going for $50/night at the time of writing this…crazy.
Before I get into things further, I’ll preface by setting some expectations while acknowledging that everyone has different travel tendencies. Some folks seem to feel the need to hit every museum and/or main tourist attraction possible. For me, I like to get lost in the city, try to learn it, talk with the locals and explore until I get hungry and/or thirsty for a crispy, cold pint. Don’t get me wrong, if there’s a tourist attraction I really want to see, I will go, but I don’t feel like I’m missing out if I don’t see a specific attraction that’s gained notoriety for one reason or another. In other words, I like to walk around and eat and drink as much as possible.
Now, one of the things that people had not prepared me for ahead of visiting Lisbon is all of the steps. Your calves will burnnn baby. This also can make getting around on foot a little tricky as it can be difficult on whatever ‘Map’ app you use to discern what is at a higher/lower elevation relative to your location. (For whatever reason, I’ve found that Google Maps works much better abroad than Apple Maps)
So, it took me some time to find my Airbnb as I ascended and descended through the winding cobblestone streets in the famed Portuguese heat. I ducked my head to enter into the short, narrow doorway of my lodging, which would be reminiscent of some of the other shops and restaurants in the city. It makes those shops, restaurants and bars feel so cozy and intimate, like a European shire (for all of my LOTR fans reading). Once I’d finished up my work day, I set out to explore the city.
Ahead of the trip I had learned that some of the food I HAD to try in Lisbon was the garlic shrimp, sardines, and assorted tinned seafoods. As I explored, I was texting my dad, who has seemingly travelled just about everywhere in the world, and I learned that the meats were also a delicacy of the region (this will come back later).
I heard some street performers playing outside of a cafe and decided this would be a perfect spot to stop for a meal. I ducked my head and entered into the cave-like cafe and ordered some food while getting Portuguese lessons from the workers there. I decided to start with garlic shrimp, a cold beer, and olives.
Garlic shrimp, a cold beer, and olives.
There may not be a more simple dish than garlic shrimp. It’s basically shrimp, olive oil, garlic and then various spices. Despite its simplicity, it is one of the tastiest dishes out there, and this version in particular was one of my favorite meals of my entire 3 months abroad.
As a confession, I’m unsure of the exact location of this place. I’ve scoured Google maps trying to find the exact location of this restaurant by cross-referencing with where my phone marked the place of the photo but I’ve been unable to find it. Basically, I don’t think this place is marked as a business on Google Maps. So, I’ll give you the best I can and share where my phone has logged the location.
I departed this delicious meal with overconfidence in my new Portuguese phrases I had picked up.
I would retain none of said phrases by the time of my next meal.
I ventured to the famed city square that is so often shown in travel blog pictures. It’s a perfect place to pull up in one of the cafes framing the square and people watch while enjoying another crispy-cold pint and snacks.
This is a very cool square and a great place to hangout. They also will host concerts here, which, sadly, they were setting up for just as I was scheduled to depart the following morning.
Pictured in the gallery above, is me having a grand ole time in said square. Featured, is one of Lisbon’s famous cod fritters, made of “potato puree, onion, parsley and steamed codfish amassed together in a ball and linked with eggs and milk, and then deep-fried”, as described by City Guide Lisbon. Whether you think that sounds disgusting or delicious, I can assure you it’s the latter. Honestly, I have no idea what the food is in the far right (potato on a stick?) but I bet it was awesome. I mean, just look how excited and happy I look!
The fritter was from the Museu da Cerveja, or rather, beer museum (…hell yea). If you go inside the restaurant you can see how the fritters are made and also take a beer tour that is basically a Portuguese-beer-themed ‘It’s a Small World After All’ ride. It’s so, so silly and overpriced but so worth it if you’re a little buzzed from a big, ironically, Belgian ale, and/or looking to escape the heat for a bit. Just have fun with it, ok?
I continued my exploration and eventually it was time for dinner. I decided that after a delicious seafood meal earlier in the day, it was time to heed my father’s advice and try some of the renowned meats from the region. I criss-crossed across the city and eventually found a ‘bohemian’ feeling section that consisted of a couple of alleys lined with various restaurants. I’ve shared a picture of the alley along with a screenshot of its location.
(Yes, yes, I know. I need to charge my phone)
Now, the taverna I had decided on had a real ‘mom and pop’ feel to it, which I feel like usually means it’s going to be pretty good. This was a really small spot. Maybe only 3 people working and maybe 15 tables. The waitress gave off ‘sweet-old-Portuguese-grandma’ vibes and barely spoke any English. And, if your reading comprehension is adequate, you’ll recall my newly learned Portuguese phrases had long since fled my now Belgian beer infused memory.
I glanced at the menu, honed in on the meat options like a ravenous, obese, American stereotype, and had my mind made. I elected Chorizo Tostada because…Chorizo. And let’s face it, it’s basically the Fettuccini Alfredo of meats. Also included in my selection, was a giant-ass glass of Sangria.
Earlier in my time abroad, I had visited Seville where Chorizo is a regular feature on menus. There, the Chorizo typically comes as a little sandwich or with some sort of bread, roll, or tostada. This, my darlings, is why expectation setting is so important.
Needless to say, I was caught off guard when my sweet, old, Portuguese granny waitress returned with nothing but a big sausage sitting on top of a serving dish that can best be described as an oval, ceramic bowl with 3 beams running perpendicular to the dish and sitting several inches above the basin below (there’s a video further down. It will make more sense).
I tried to play it cool like I knew the drill but, internally, confusion mounted as she began to squeeze a mysterious, colorless fluid from a clear ketchup-diner-style squirt bottle into the bowl holding the sausage on a stand. Next thing I know, fireeee.
The waitress had ignited the flammable fluid in the holding basin and we both stared like two mesmerized boy scouts gazing into a campfire. My hand gently grazed hers. She, slowly at first, reached out to hold mine. Our eyes locked as sensual samba played at the catty-corner cafe. Fireworks shot up into the deep, midnight blue Portuguese sky.
Ok. I made that last part up, but as we watched the fire beneath the big sausage burn, she began to rotate the sausage using a fork and knife. Unsure as to if I was just supposed to sit there while she cooked it in front of me, she eventually indicated that I would be responsible for cooking my big sausage. I attempted to rotate the big sausage with the fork and knife but they were not the ideal tools for the task. Truly, the only thing that would have been more awkward for roasting a big sausage would have been two spoons.
She’d snatch the fork and knife from my hands and begin rotating the sausage (in a manner that didn’t really seem too different from what I was doing) and look at me with eyes that seemed to say, “See? This is how you do it.”
This song and dance of innocence and experience played out a couple of times before she either deemed my skills sufficient to independently roast my big sausage or thought me utterly hopeless to the point that she would return to her waitressing duties and spend her time on more fruitful endeavors.
I will never know if I earned the approval of my sweet, old Portuguese granny. And that is a burden I must shoulder for the rest of my days.
Behold! My big blazing sausage.
This encounter was honestly one of favorites of Lisbon (I’m easy to please), but there’s certainly plenty more to do.
Also worthwhile is the Castelo de São Jorge, Belém Tower, the famous pastries from Pastéis de Belém, and the Calle Rosa de Lisbon (the pink street).
Castelo de São Jorge:
You’ll need tickets to visit the castle but it’s fairly affordable, and it offers some of the best views of the city. On the way up, you’ll find loads of little cafes lining the switch back roads leading up to the castle. There’s also peacocks!
Belém Tower:
You’ll recall that earlier I mentioned that I don’t feel the need to do EVERY tourist attraction when I visit a city. I had seen pictures of Belém tower and thought that it looked pretty epic. I decided to walk along the coastline from where I was staying to Belém, which I think was about 5 miles one way. So, if you stay some place similar, I recommend renting a bike.
As I approached Belém the amount of people kept growing and growing. This is a VERY crowded area. It’s the type of attraction where the road will be lined with tour buses of all nationalities. I elected not to do a tour of the tower, which I had heard from friends was a bit underwhelming and decided to simply marvel at the tower from afar. In short, it’s worth going to and seeing, I can’t speak for the tour, but expect crowds.
*Not pictured: Throngs of people waiting in line to the left of the frame.
Pastéis de Belém:
This pastry shop is another one that you’ll see in various travel publications. It’s walking distance from the tower of Belém, so it’s a nice parlay opportunity for the two attractions. The honest truth is that the pastries are quite yummy, but again crowds. And while tasty, I’m not convinced that the pastry here will be leagues better than what you can find at any of the other pastry shops in the city.
Hand model.
Calle Rosa de Lisbon (the pink street):
By day, a long, bar-lined pink street. By night, a long, bar-lined pink street with throngs of people partying. This street is located in the city center and is worth seeing at any time of day. If you’re in the mood to party, this is probably a good spot to check out. Sadly, I neglected to get a picture of the infamous pink street.
To bring things to a close, whether you’re eating and drinking your way around the city or visiting all of the widely recommended tourist attractions, you can’t go wrong with Lisbon. Is it my favorite city in Europe? No, those accolades are currently held by Seville, Amsterdam and London. But would I go back? In a heartbeat.
I’ll leave you with some images of some of the other tasty meals I had during my visit to Lisboa.
From left to right, top to bottom: crispy, cold beer and olives. Me with a hollowed out pineapple rum drink. Street tacos (pork and shrimp, aka surf and turf baby). Assorted tostadas. Tuna pâté and a crispy, cold beer. A meal at home; tinned muscles (seriously, don’t knock the tinned delicacies. Get a bunch of different kinds and try them all. They are so good).
